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24 October 2005 @ 04:21 pm
A Russian, a German, a Frenchman, and a Jew were trudging through the desert.

"I'm so hot and thirsty -- I must have some vodka," said the Russian.
"I'm so hot and thirsty -- I must have a beer," said the German.
"I'm so hot and thirsty -- I must have wine," said the Frenchman.
The Jew added "I'm so hot and thirsty -- I must have diabetes."

Speaking of whiny, hypochondriac Jews, I went in to see Dr. C at my OB's office on Friday. I hadn't yet met her (she's pretty new to the practice), and all I can say is that she is a very pretty woman with the bedside manner of wet paint. I won't give you too many details about her lack of sensitivity, other than to say she could have at least bought me dinner first.

Anyway, Dr. Humorless confirmed that Baby is still very big. I was 31 weeks, 4 days on Friday, and Baby measured at 37 weeks. Hello? THIRTY-SEVEN?! I knew I grew 'em fast, but this is ridiculous. Just figures -- I have the metabolism of a sick elephant, unless I'm pregnant. THEN my system works overtime.

The result of this is that I'm scheduled for another ultrasound tomorrow, to check on the tiny one and reconfirm his enormity. Which also means that I could be having him as early as the week of November 7th. (As opposed to his due date of December 18th.)

DH and I went out on Saturday and bought the car seat. We have to take this seriously now!
Current Mood: tiredtired
14 October 2005 @ 09:12 am
I'm swamped at work (mandatory overtime again) so just a few outrages and irritations:

1. Bush thinks we need a supreme court justice chosen based on her religious beliefs. I am chock full of pissiness about this one.

2. The next James Bond is.... blond. I'm sorry, but that's so wrong. What happened to Clive Owen?

3. I'm sick again, and so is my entire family (including Nanny Alberta). Interestingly, my boss came to work all week last week with strep throat. Connection? Dunno. But I'm blaming her anyway.

4. Did I mention Mandatory Overtime? (Unpaid overtime, natch, since we're all salaried.) I have no problem doing this occasionally, but having my job held over my head with the requirement of working significantly more than 40 hrs a week for more than three months out of the year sucks ass. Give me a raise, and then we'll discuss more overtime, okay cha-cha?

5. I'm almost out of Zoloft, and my psychopharmacologist won't refill it until I see her. Unfortunately, her office is in the city and she only works three days a week. I cannot, cannot, cannot, take a day off to go see her. How am I supposed to do this? I've been on Zoloft for more than 12 years; do we really need to go through this bullshit? I left a message asking if we can do a phone session and asking her to please call my therapist (who I haven't seen in person in six months because of this fucking job, but at least I've been doing phone sessions). I know my therapist will give her the lowdown that I'm not trying to be irresponsible or anything, but really.... nobody wants to see me go off Zoloft. Won't somebody please think of my children, if nothing else? They don't deserve an unmedicated mom! Jeez, I'm cranky enough being pregnant on meds; I can't fathom what a nightmare I'd be without them.

Bitter? Moi? Naaaah..... I'd just have some chocolate but it doesn't feel good on a sore throat. I'll have some tea instead. Woot, woot.
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Current Music: "Motherlove," Queen
07 October 2005 @ 09:39 am
I saw the head of my OB-GYN's practice yesterday. (For the uninitiated, if you're preggers and there's more than one doc at the practice, you're supposed to see every doctor while you're pregnant just in case *your* doc isn't on call when you go into labor... that way, you're not laboring in front of a stranger.)

Dr. K. is extremely hard to see because she's so established (she's Oprah's doc!). Invariably, she runs rather late, so I was warned to call before coming so I wouldn't have to wait long. The receptionist took my cell phone number and said she'd call me when she knew when I should be there. So my appt was scheduled for 2:30 but I didn't leave work until 3:15, and still had time to get gas before I had to see the doc.

My blood pressure, etc is fine. The nurse that helped me is nice enough but kind of bugs me and I can't put my finger on why. She asked what complaints I had this time (okay, not in those words), and I said "I'm pregnant." She only kind of laughed. I mentioned that I don't sleep through the night -- ever -- and I'm totally exhausted, hormonal, etc. So she starts with all the typical stuff (try yoga, warm milk, clear your mind) and I explained how I have mid-range insomnia, it runs in my family, I usually take two kinds of sleeping pills but can't while I'm preggers, yada yada. The thing that bugged me was that she wouldn't let it go. "But if you try some gentle yoga at night...." No, dumbass.... that's not the problem, okay? Give it up, cha-cha!

I'm such a bitch.

Anyway, Dr. K. had some trouble getting Baby's heartbeat. He's sideways right now, apparently, and liked giving her a hard time. Every time she'd sort of massage a part of my belly to adjust him, he'd kick back (giggle). She liked that; when she finally got his heartbeat, she pronounced it perfect (150 bpm) and "happy." (I LOVE that they use that word there. Who else says your kid has a "happy heartbeat" without sounding dopey?)

So everything looks okay, except she noted that he's really big. Like, "we have to keep an eye on this" big. She asked how big the boys were (6lbs 9oz and 7lbs 5oz) and we reminded each other that they were both a month early. She told me not to worry at this point; they're seeing me in two weeks and will decide at that point if they want to do a quick ultrasound for size.

I doubt they can really do anything special if he's really big; just induce me early (earlier) or plan for a possible C-section, I guess. Dunno. But him being big explains why I'm such a freakin' mess... he's grown a lot in the last month and I'm really ungainly. The nice thing is that people say I don't look heavy, just pregnant (even Alberta -- our nanny who is honest to a fault -- said I don't look big). But damn, I feel huge.

So do people want to start taking bets on when the baby will come and how big he'll be? Please don't wish a 10-pounder on me, okay? No woman needs to go through that kind of pain.

I'm getting excited.
Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: "Split-Screen Sadness," John Mayer
05 October 2005 @ 10:23 am
It's the second day of Rosh Hashanah today. DH is going to shul by himself; he took Jacob yesterday and it was so cute. Alberta and I dressed Jacob up in nice new khakis, a button-down shirt, and his fancy new braided leather belt (thanks, Mom). He was so excited to go with Daddy. They walked over to Northwestern's Norris Center for services. DH said they stayed for about an hour, and Jacob was very good. On the walk back, they stopped at the Dawes Park lagoon to feed Nilla Wafers to the ducks.

I spent yesterday cleaning and running errands. (Two things we're technically not supposed to do on a Jewish Holiday, but they needed to be done!). By now, Alberta and I have dumped out all potentially infested pantry items, and she scrubbed down all the shelves for me with hot soapy water. Everything in the pantry that's not bottled or canned has been replaced with fewer items, which are being kept in those nice plastic shoeboxes from The Container Store. It's like freaking Martha Stewart came in and took over, but at least we should be bug-free.

Speaking of Martha, I also went through the boys' closet and examined every article of clothing -- pulled out the stained and too-small stuff, organized stuff that can be saved for Danny or Baby, and put the appropriate items back ON LABELED SHELVES. It's a sickness, I know... but DH hates trying to figure out whose clothes are where; it's especially confusing because most of Danny's clothes used to be Jacob's. I wonder how long all of this organization will last?

I was very cheerful about running errands yesterday until I threw up in the Lincolnwood Town Mall. (I managed to throw up into an empty bag without anyone seeming to notice, but still. I am so distressed by throwing up at all, let alone in public.) By the time I dragged myself up the two flights of stairs to our apartment, I was in tears. I was so hot and worn out. Poor DH is probably really sick of all this hormonal, whiny bullshit. However, I managed to pull myself together and we all went to dinner at my parents' house.

I should get back to work, but I want to wish everyone in my universe and everyone in theirs a lovely, peaceful new year full of love, joy and hope.
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: None -- have to bring my headphones in
04 October 2005 @ 07:38 am
1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Paul Weller (The Jam)

2. Where was your first kiss?
A trumpet player at Interlochen kissed me by his instrument locker. I must say, it's hard for any guy to follow a good horn player.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
Good gracious. Are you sure this meme is meant for women? Heck, no.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yeah. I nearly killed Josh Rubenstein in high school. Later, we became good friends.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
Naturellment. It's been a while, but I was pretty comfortable with an audience for a while there.

6. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
Probably how he walks, how he speaks, his hands. I tend not to draw opinions on first sight (especially since I fell in love with my husband without ever seeing him). Some guys grow on you!

7. What really turns you on?
Unexpected gestures of romance.

8. What do you order at Starbucks?
I have a serious jones for a good chai frappucino (venti, no whip). In the winter, I love hot chai. I don't, however, drink coffee.

9. What is your biggest mistake?
Oh, let me count the ways.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Ten years ago, nobody would have asked this question. No, and I don't understand why some people do it. That's a very sad problem.

11. Say something totally random about yourself.
I have a group of freckles near my belly button that look like a pawprint.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
I have a friend who insists I look like Reese Witherspoon. I think she's nuts, but I love her for it. I probably look like Reese Witherspoon with dark hair after she's gotten depressed and had a few too many binges, or someone filled her with helium.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
What sane parent of toddlers doesn't? I like "Arthur." My brother got satellite TV several years back specifically for stuff like the Cartoon Network.... way before he had kids.

14. Did you have braces?
Ugh, yes. What a waste of my parents' money. I ended up having a bridge put in to replace the crooked teeth on my upper jaw. My bottom teeth.... well, that's a subject best kept quiet.

15. Are you comfortable with your height?
I like my height (5'6") most of the time, but I was meant to be taller. I have extremely long limbs and a very short waist, because I stopped growing before my growth was supposed to end. I was expected to be about 5'9" or 10". Most people think I'm taller than I am. I like not being really tall because I love being shorter than my guy; however, if I'd achieved my true height, I'd have a killer figure.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
DH had my wedding bouquet recreated by the original florist for our 5th anniversary, so that I could have it preserved. The preservation woman screwed it up, but the thought was delightful.

17. When do you know it's love?
I don't think I could qualify that. You've just got to feel it, I guess.

18. Do you speak any other languages?
I used to be nearly fluent in Spanish. I remember a bit of it, but I can understand more than I speak. I know a teeny bit of French.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
Yes, I'm sorry to say. I haven't done it in a long time, but I used to love to do it here and there. It's so awful for you, but it is soooo relaxing.

20. What magazines do you read?
Entertainment Weekly
Nick, Jr
I will pick up trashy stuff like In Touch here and there, and then pass them along to our nanny, who loves to read them on the train.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Yes. My best friend committed suicide when I was about 11. I lost my beloved grandma Ruthie right before I found out I was pregnant with Jake. I still dream about her a lot.

23. Do you watch MTV?
Not anymore.

24. What's something that really annoys you?
People who don't listen and don't learn. Insensitivity.

25. What's something you really like?

26. What celebrity do you admire?
Anna Nicole Smith.... BWAHAHAHAAH! Anne Bancroft was a really classy lady. And you gotta figure she was damned cool to be with Mel Brooks all those years. Can you imagine dinner parties with them?

27. Can you dance?
Yes, but I used to be better.

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
I pulled a lot of all-nighters in college, and even some in high school. I am a terrible insomniac with mid-range insomnia (where you wake up too early and can't go back to sleep), so I try to go to bed early now. That way, when I wake up at 3 am, I've at least gotten a few hours.

29. Ever lied to your parents as an adult?
I didn't lie to my parents as a kid! [wide-eyed, lying through my teeth]

30. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Yep. First time was in elementary school. I flipped off a swing and landed on my back on frozen ground. That was bad.

31. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Yes. I like to read other people's brains!
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Theme from Thomas the Tank Engine
02 October 2005 @ 05:50 pm
Oh, my G-d. Oh, my holy G-d.

Just when I thought I'd adjusted to how much I hate this apartment, things only get worse. Just when the ants started to disappear, something came to take their place.

The kids wanted Blue's Clues Macaroni & Cheese. So, while the Rosh Hashanah chicken soup simmered on the stove, I made two boxes and presented steaming bowls of the pasta to the boys, who hungrily dug in. I took a small bowl of the crap to my room, where I was watching The Stepford Wives. I was near the end of the bowl, when I saw what looked like a tiny piece of brown rice. Upon closer inspection, I discovered a curly mealworm.

A mealworm. In the food I ate. In the food I SERVED MY CHILDREN. Could I freak out? Nope. It's hard enough to get those kids to eat without them mistrusting my limited cooking. I debated tossing the rest of the pot, but worried DH was be upset about me wasting food.

Then, Danny asked for more. Danny, the child who went nearly two months without eating more than two bites of food at a time, asked for more. I shakingly took his bowl into the kitchen, and strained few spoonfuls to ensure there were no bugs lurking. There were, but I got them out. Ambivalently, I returned Danny's bowl to him.

DH was in his office. I snuck in and whispered what had happened. He was totally grossed out. And, of course, this was somehow my fault. I buy too many groceries. We shouldn't buy in bulk. The cereal containers aren't airtight. Never mind that I've lived in more than 15 apartments and homes in my life and have never had mealworms.

It's this fucking place; it's possessed or something. We can't win. And what can I do? I have to assume anything in the pantry that's not in a can or jar is infested. We have to toss what is probably over a hundred dollars' worth of dry goods, and then wash down every surface with hot, soapy water. Then supposedly we have to keep everything in airtight cans or jars, because mealworms can get through boxes and bags -- even Ziplocs.

I'm itchy all over and totally freaked out. Let's assume my kids will be living on frozen food and bagels until we get to move.
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
Current Music: "Unwrapped," Food TV
02 October 2005 @ 04:30 pm
You are a

Social Liberal
(68% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(11% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Storm outside
27 September 2005 @ 08:50 am
If you'd like to see my earlier stuff, please read my tBlog (if you can). I may decide to move everything here so I have just one online home. I'm so angry at and sad about tBlog imploding; it was such a fun community for so long. Uch.
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: None yet
26 September 2005 @ 07:47 pm
Oh, I just give up. After a few years on tBlog, I have decided that it's just not worth the energy. I have to decide between using LJ and Blogger; dunno which to go with. We'll have to see how it pans out....
Current Mood: lethargiclethargic
Current Music: "How I Met Your Mother," crappy network tv
19 September 2005 @ 08:40 am
I'm currently holding for "one minutes please" with a Dell Chat rep, who is completely flummoxed by my issue (Can't access the contacts on my pocket PC unless from within the e-mail program). I'm guessing I simply have to bite the bullet and ask DH to reinstall my operating system and Office for PPC, but thought I'd check in and see if Dell had any hints for me.

Renuka has spent a good 10 minutes of my time trying to get me to the file menu on ActiveSync. She just said "open file" in ActiveSync.... this is insane. Is it rude if I hang up on a chat rep?
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: "If I Could Go," Angie Martinez